I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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