Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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