her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Randomize
