First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
