i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
