at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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