LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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