i will never coherently bang her
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
