i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
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slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
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He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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