so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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