what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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