i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes