Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants