I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I supernannyed him into submission
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate