i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.