youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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