He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
