Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
