Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
