too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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