I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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