yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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