we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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