Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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