"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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