At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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