He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize