that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
