I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
