...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
