Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the condom got lost in my hair
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
