Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
