listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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