yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
