let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can feel your judgement through the phone
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
