arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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