Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
