yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
