I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Success! We fucked roommates!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
