And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
