you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
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I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
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the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!