Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.