my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him