someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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