chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
