how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
