i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
