I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
