Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
