Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
