I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
