We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
