This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
