i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.