And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.