I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
