i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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