he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.