it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
