So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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