She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
