We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
