Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
