Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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