I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
