i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
