Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
